At a time when children’s schools are being shot at with more frequency than clay pigeons, Dan Bilzerian is complaining that the LAPD stole some of his guns.

I chuckle at the thought of Virginia Woolf, Jane Austen or Marcel Proust writing a masterpiece about lunacy, love or life only to have their asses handed to them on a plate by a Dan Bilzerian headline. The death of a moth used to enthrall. It can’t compete with a skimpy thong and massive melons.

My son knows Dan Bilzerian. He’s 14-years old. He doesn’t know him personally, and one assumes he doesn’t follow his Instagram account because of his love of goats. What a role model this man is.

This week Bilzerian popped up in the Washington Times. For once, replacing allegations of sexually transmitted diseases, heart attack inducing stripper stories and pictures of two zeppelins having it off in a bra was the cool theme of guns.