The Scottish Football Association hand Joey Barton a one-match ban after breaking gambling laws between July and September. Barton is currently unemployed after Rangers let him go.

I was walking down the book aisle in Asda, searching for the Highway Code when I spotted a kid asking his Dad if he could have Joey Barton’s autobiography for Christmas.

The kid’s father thrust a copy of From Nowhere by Jamie Vardy under his snotty nose – “Why don’t you get this one instead?”

“But that’s so boring,” said the kid.